The other day I was working from home and saw my 11 year old daughter had created a new screensaver with a heart on it and it said, “I love me.”  My first thought was I needed to talk with her about the importance of loving and preferring others first.

However, as I was giving it more thought, I was reminded of one of my favorite Bible scriptures, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  It is actually ok to love yourself and I realized you truly cannot love others unless you love yourself first.

The Dictionary describes love as having a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  My next thought was, “How do you love yourself and others?”   I thought of the scriptures often quoted at marriage ceremonies from I Corinthians 13.
 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

I don’t know about you, but I can’t say I succeed at all this 100% of the time.   If I’m driving and someone cuts me off, I don’t feel like being kind to the driver.   When I’m at the grocery store and am waiting for the cashier to put the 25 coupons in that the person ahead of me gave her, I’m not always patient.  On the other hand, if I’m the one who accidentally cuts someone off, I want them to be patient with me or if I’m the one with the coupons, I prefer the person behind me to understand. 

I remember once when I was mad at my husband because of something he had done for several years in our marriage,   I actually thought about keeping a list of how many times he had done it.  I figured if he saw it on paper, he would understand and stop.  Then, I read about not keeping a record of being wronged, so I threw that thought out.  The funny thing is now that it is years later, I don’t even remember what it is that he did.    Of course, I’m sure there are still things I do that irritate him like leaving every pair of shoes that I own in different parts of the house or asking him every day questions like, “Where are my keys?  Where is my purse?  I can’t find my...”  Well, you get the point.
Would I want him to have a tally for all these years?   I don’t think so.  I’d rather him love me as I am.

Thanks to my daughter’s reminder, it is ok to love yourself and if I love others as I love myself all my relationships will be better for it.  So, I end with how my daughter started, “I love me!

by Jill Nash, founder of Women of Influence

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